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Thursday, October 30, 2003

Happening Afternoon!

Its absolutely happening this afternoon! Although I really didn't have any work at all today, I was amusing myself doing some things today.

During the afternoon, I was doing a Director movie. I named it "Friends - Part of my Life". I took a lot of pictures taken with my colleagues and fellow interns in the office, most of my friends' pictures from Friendster.com and made a movie in sync with a song by Stefanie Sun, "The Moment". But the pictures are really low quality though because some were too small or already in low quality format.

Today was the end of the month too, thus I got a total of $500 allowance. $450 of basic allowance and $50 over-time pay :p

While I was doing the movie, beautiful memories with all my friends appeared in my mind. I was also amused by some pictures taken with my my colleagues and fellow interns, in which some was quite funny to me. I was also thinking about them, all my colleagues and fellow interns. They are my friends. I would miss them, forever in my heart. This internship ends in another five days. Well, all celebrating banquets would have to end some time...

During lunch, I went to Bugis Junction's foodcourt's Teppanyaki to eat with Kernis, Wanzhen and David . The meal was nice. Maybe it is nice because it is not always the Jeffrey's Gather Place, our usual hound of eating place. After that we all went for some window shopping at PARCO Bugis Junction. We bought some mineral water from Cold Storage. After some time, David went back to office first.

I accompanied the ladies to shop. They window shopped while I just walked. Kernis suddenly told me, "Ei, you don't just walk walk around, if you see anything nice go into the shop and take a look. No need to be pai seh."

Frankly speaking I was slightly shy and blushing then. But then, I really have no urge to buy those clothes unless I need it. And like I also told many of my friends, "If I want to change, I want it to be a revolution (a major change or break-through)." That's my principle on buying clothes or on fashion. If I wanted to buy, I'll buy a lot of stuff like shirts, pants, socks, shoes and other accessories at one shot so I can match myself from top to toe.

Maybe that revolution may come tomorrow after work!

Anyway, after the window shopping, we went back to the office. I went back to work on my own Director movie. Nur suddenly asked me to help him near the video editing suite area.

It was a trap.

Becausse the bosses were not in the office again. Shahid, Bernard and Nur wanted me to be a clown Elvis dancer at their area, again. Bernard went to the recording cubicle and became like a Dee-Jay announcer on the dance floor and boy, he's a guy with a talented charisma. Jason was invited to become the lighting master, switching the office lights on and off to make the office look like bar or pub dance floor's disco lights. Jason was also dancing crappily to the Elvis tunes.

Of course with all these "encouragement", I had no choice but to dance like Elvis.

But everyone was so amuse to Jason's crappy dancing and Bernard's emcee joke talks, everyone in the office started laughing happily. Even I stopped dancing the Elvis' moves and dropped to a sofa nearby and started laughing while hugging my tummy. It was fun and there was happiness.

Eiizumi's Crappy/Inspiring Quote or Quotation of this Blog:
"Live out your life and be a happy living thing on Earth!"

Another Workless Day.

I guess today is another workless day. I wasn't assign any work in the morning.

So I was editing my Flash website this whole morning.

I was changing the session "Curriculum Vitae" under "The City Hall" module, in which the original content was displayed in linear format as there are quite a lot of textual information as well as some tables. After checking my Flash book last night, I finally knew how to put contents inside the scrollPane component of the Macromedia Flash MX programme and successfully display in Flash (.swf) format.

Why all this trouble to change?

The original linear presentation of the sesion "Curriculum Vitae" under "The City Hall" module contain a total of 15 scenes to display all my resume content. This caused the Flash file to be very big in size , about 1MB plus. This caused the browser to load my Flash file for display for quite some time.

Another reason for the large file size was that I didn't use the text boxes in Flash programme to create all the textual information. The plain text create in the textbox of Flash programme wasn't really nice on the design. It takes a lot of time to create nice text displays in Flash proramme. I was lazy to do it nicely in Flash programme, too time consumng. So, most contents are designed and created in Adobe Photoshop instead. And then the bitmap images directly copied or exported into Flash working document itself. This also caused the Flash file to be large in file size too.

So to further reduce the Flash file size, I decided to put all my resume content under one scene using scrollPane component, since all contents are in bitmap formats. This morning I successfully solved everything. The Flash file size is around 380KB and now the browser loads the Flash size more faster.

If I got the time in the near future, I think I would divide the modules and the sessions into separate Flash files on separate HTML pages. So that the browser load individual different modules or sessions faster. Moreover, users could go to the individual different modules' or sessions' HTML pages easily using the browser's webpage history by the URL address.

Eiizumi's Crappy/Inspiring Quote or Quotation of this Blog:
"What ever one does, there should be no regrets. Cos' regrets are for life."

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Not a very Interesting Wednesday...

Today is definitely not too interesting. Time past by for me similarly like yesterday and the day before yesterday. Although, I did have work to do in the morning, I managed to finish it quickly. The task in the morning was just recording and editing some wave audio files and put them into the Vitagen director application.

After that, I was doing altering my Flash website application. I was trying to put in the scrollPane component in and use it to display some graphics but it doesn't work. I did check out the tutorials and search for help in the Macromedia Flash but it doesn't help much. I gave up on it. Maybe tonight I'll be going home to check out my Flash book again.

After the failure to alter my Flash website application, I went back to slack my ass off by surfing the net again. Holy boring.

Even as Small Boss Jeffrey is walking around, I was doing nothing. Not very nice for my image. I'm trying to be still in Digimagic for some holiday work like Chin Leong and Meifang now. The part-time salary is about $1200 per month. The future of a holiday work in Digimagic doesn't really look that bright now...

Actually, I was praying for someone in the office to teach me or give me a few pointers on Adobe After-Effects. I knew all the basics but just needed someone to give me a goal on a project to work something on and give me some few pointers on it. Maybe my image and attitude in the office shown myself as not a really enthusiastic learner at work. But frankly speaking, when I wanted to learn, nobody teaches me (or I'll be teaching someone some tricks of my own!). When I'm working on something and don't have the time, they want to teach me new things and obviously I'm not free to do so...

Eiizumi's Crappy/Inspiring Quote or Quotation of this Blog:
"Life is contradictiing itself. That the Way of Life."

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Absolutely Nothing to do in the Office.

I have absolutely nothing to do today in the office. Absolutely nothing but surf. Sidik's not well today. Nur's still down after his food poisoning case and Peipei's on leave today, I think.

Although I'm scheduled for a project know in abbreviation as NSRCC and my scheduled job assigner for that project was Yvonne but she got no tasks to assign for me to do. Even my original job assigner, Peipei, ain't here either. So I was slacking the whole day, doing nothing but surfing the net. Not very interesting at all.

The great break from slacking boringly was lunch time at 1.30pm. Everyone in Digimagic went to the Ponderosa Steakhouse at Raffles City for a company lunch, to celebrate Jacqueline's and Yvonne's (Yvonne's official birthday is today). We had quite a fun time. But the food sucks.

Kernis, Jason, Wanzhen and I sat on a table of four. We were expecting hot sizzling, juicy steaks served to us like those pictures on the menus and pictures on the walls of the steakhouse shown to us. But instead, it was a self-service lunch buffet. That was fine with us.

The worse thing is the steaks in the buffet plates. It was damn dry. I have quite a tough time cutting it up. The rest of the food was also dry. We took a bowl of cream of mushroom soup. I was expecting the usual taste of western mushroom soup. Kernis said the taste of the mushroom was quite strong. I took mine, I understand why the mushroom taste was so strong. They used Chinese mushrooms (know to Chineses as Dong Gu ) instead! Of course we didn't really enjoy the meal. Jason said he preferred our usual lunch place known as Jeffrey's Gathering Place. Because he could at least smoke after lunch even though the food there was also kind of sucky.

The price at the steakhouse was about $14 per head while the Seoul's Garden we went last time was about $7 per head. Frankly speaking, I preferred Seoul's garden's food rather than the Ponderosa Steakhouse. At least the food at Seoul's Garden was nicer, cooking ourselves.

After the meal, everyone sang the birthday song of blessings to Yvonne and Jacqueline and they blew their birthday cake. Jacqueline, Yvonne and Bernard have fun playing with the cream on each others' faces. After that, Kernis, Wanzhen and I took Keith's car, while the rest walked their way back to the office building. Luckily, we took Keith's car. Because it was drizzling then. But anyway, it wouldn't harm walking their way back to the office, because it was only drizzling and there's covered walk-all the way back to the office building.

We were back in our office. I'm back with my slacking hours of surfing the net...

Eiizumi's Crappy/Inspiring Quote or Quotation of this Blog:
"Boredom means no brain activity, hence is human intelligence's nemesis."

Tired.

Nothing really interesting yesterday. I was also tired after Sunday's night, I was watching "The Thin Red Line" till 1.30am and woke up 7.20am in the morning yesterday.

Yesterday was the first day of the muslim fasting month, Ramadan. Not all was gone done for the usual breakfast meet. My muslims colleagues can't eat or drink when the day is on. I heard Nur got food poisoning, so he didn't came to the office yesterday. Diana, Sidik, Kernis, Jason, Wanzhen and I went down below the office building to chat. Us, the non-muslims had some drinks though.

I had some work in the morning but for the rest of the day in the afternoon, I was doing nothing except surfing the net. Gets pretty bored after some time...

For lunch, I was with Kernis, David and Wanzhen had Long John's Silver fast-food. We had a pretty good time as David talked about his experinces when working in Shanghai a few weeks ago. We laughed at some crappy happenings when he's with Shahid and Michelle.

I'm suddenly inspired to give some quotes everytime I post a blog in the future, starting from now.

Eiizumi's Crappy/Inspiring Quote or Quotation of this Blog:
"You can die helping everyone. You can't make everybody happy."

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Sunday of Monotone.

Sunday. I woke up 9am in the morning today. I was suppose to get my another $300 bursary cheque from my mother's Lee General Clan Association (My mum's family surname is Lee).

I went to the clan association with my mother. Taking the MRT to Lavender MRT station and took an alternative bus service to the area where the clan association is. Before we went there, my mother and I went to a nearby hawker centre for breakfast. My breakfast was a relative small bowl of prawn noodles. Some of you might think it is weird for breakfast, to me it is too. My mum ordered for me. I wasn't in a really good mood so I told her I am fine with anything. I regret that decision.

After the breakfast we went to the Lee General Clan Association building.

The whole event, including the receiving ceremony of bursaries at the Lee General Clan Association building, was to start at 11am but it only started around 11.30am. Firstly, everybody at the association went to the roof terrace and pray the heavens and deities' altar. After the rituals as of it is every year, I got my money presented to me at the association's karaoke lounge. After I ate the small buffet available as my lunch. Then, I left the place. The whole thing ended about 12.30pm.

I took a SBS Transit bus service number 147. Initially I intended to ride the bus all the way to Clementi, so I could drop my cheque at the POSB Bank Cheque Deposit Drop Box. But after seeing the bus service route information. I decided to take it till the Chinatown MRT station.

On the way, the bus stopped near the area of Sim Lim Square. I've changed my mind again and decided to alight there and walked my way to Bugis MRT station from there. I know the area quite well and I'm used to walking long distances so I don't really mind walking to Bugis MRT station.

From there, I walked to the famous religious street of Si Ma Lu or the Bencoolen Link. I walked past the famous Guanying Temple, where many devotees were trying to get in and pray. Beggars there beeged for money, while flower peddlars were trying to sell their flowers. All didn't really interest me, I just walked past on while I look.

Finally, I've reached the ever familiar Bugis Junction. The weather was dry, warm and humid. So I've decided to walk through the shopping area to the Buigs MRT station. From there I took the MRT train to Clementi, where I dropped my cheque at the POSB Bank Cheque Deposit Drop Box. Then, I took a MRT train back home.

I went back home, feeling a bit tired and slightly bored. I switch on the PC to surf the net and play my PCgames. When it was 5pm, my handphone's reminder alarm sounded. It was to remind me to workout my body. But I wasn't in the mood, so I procrastinated it to 6pm and continued to surf my net and play my PC games.

At 6pm, my reminder sounded again, but still not in the mood due to the weather of dry, warm and humid air and also the sky darkened. The weather sickens my mood to do workout, so I procratinated it again to 9pm. But at around 7pm after eating my dinner, I was too full to do any workout later. I decided to postpone my workout till tomorrow.

I guess I'll have to do it my double capacity workout tomorrow night. Today was really monotonous. No mood (as in the environment, the weather), hence no feel, hence no will and determaintion to do anything planned...

But I must still do my log-book of the weekly reports later... Duh...

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Saturday of Boredom...

Saturday. I wasn't really expecting too much today. My only elder sister and her boyfriend went for their chalet this afternoon today. I finally got the chance and the time to take over her PC for at least the whole day I guess. I was lucky I got the chance to use the PC today, or I'll be dying of boredom again.

I don't know why. Just really don't have the mood to stay at home to vene do my favourite things. I just feel like going out everytime. To meet my friends and chat. But I'm not really looking forward to watch movies, play pool or LAN gaming with them. I wanted communication as to socailise. To talk our hearts out. To really understand everyone I have in my life. So I'll treasure them, better.

Anyway, I went for Yvonne's birthday celebration at the Pasir Ris's NTUC Downtown East Resort with Chin Leong and Meifang. Before we went there, we bought Yvonne a necklace as her birthday gift at the White Sands Shopping Mall. Surprisingly, there was a lot of people. Really a lot. Her friends, family and relatives all were there. I thought she invited all of her firends on her Friendster.com network! But we, Chin Leong, Meifang and I never mixed around. Because all other guests were in their own circles of friends or family.

We didn't bother anyway. The host, Yvonne herself was busy receiving gifts and socialising with others. She didn't really entertain us much. The only people we mixed with were Michelle and Linda, who were all from our attachment company at Digimagic. The three of us sticked together and ate the buffet while chatting with Linda. Michelle left early after only 10 minutes of her arrival, she said. Dennis, the cameraman from the same attachment company, only arrived after the three of us were leaving. The three of us only was for there for only 30 minutes.

And I took a total of two hours back and fro between Chinese Garden MRT station and Pasir Ris MRT station. I didn't really regret going there anyway. At home I'm also had nothing much to do. Just doing things for time to past by.

But I was supposed to do some workout and do my log-book's weekly reports though. Guess, I've to postpone them till tomorrow. Tomorrow's workout capacity will be doubled!

Friday of Fun!?

Friday. Woke up lazily at 11am. The lastest ever since I'm on ITP. Not even the normal weekends I would sleep till so late.

Later at around 2pm, I met Chee Wee for a swim at the Jurong East Sports Complex's Swimming Complex. He arrived about 10 minutes early at the bus-stop, waiting for me. In the end, I met him but I realised that I forgotten to bring my swimming trunks. No wonder I was thinking I forgot to bring something! I brought him to my house for a few minutes while I changed into my swimming trunks. Then, we're off to the complex.

It was a crowded day at the complex. The swimming waters were not very clear. Slightly chalky. Moreover, there was so many people, Chee Wee and I could hardly had any fun at the "Wave Pool" or the "Lazy River". At one time, we, the two myopics lost sights of each other at the "Wave Pool" when we said we're moving to the "Lazy River". We searched for each other for a while but in the end he found me. After all, I had a worse eye-sight degree than his.

To the "Lazy River", Chee Wee did another failed attempt to jump into the "Lazy River" with me. His foot hit humps of water jets underneath the water. He slightly hurt his foot but he's generally all right. But that was pretty unlucky as he still jumped and hit the humps after the first time when we initially arrived.

After that, all we wanted was a relaxing swim at the normal competition pool. We swam a few laps. Chee Wee complained that his goggles kept entering water and made his eyes irritated. I didn't bring my goggles though as I'm quite use to not using them. But after a while swimming in the pool, my eyes were irritated. I swam blindly for half a lap before my eyes recovered.

We swam till around four o'clock and we headed for the KFC fast-food restaurant at the complex, for Chee Wee to have his lunch while I had snacks.

After that, we headed for our old hound at the Ginza Plaza's Genie Funland's LAN Gaming area. We did try to meet other friends to do something else but nobody was free.

I've decided to make LAN gaming an occasional activity though. I'm quite sick of LAN gaming. I don't know why I'm sick of it. I felt I've suddenly grow up or something. There are more fun and meaningful things to do rather than LAN gaming. I wouldn't go for it unless it is the last resort. The last place I'll be at. It is an expensive and quite brain numbing to make it a frequent activity.

We had fun there though.

After that we had our dinner at the Dover market's hawker centre. We were suppose to get the delicious curry chicken rice there but almost all stalls were closed but luckily the seafood stall was open and we had simple meals.

After that, Chee Wee and I walked towards the Buona Vista MRT station. Along the way, we talked about our complex family lifes with our family and relatives. Every family line have their own problems. But really, it was interesting topic to talk about though. Whose family life is more complex troubles than whose. No one really know and understand till you're part of it.

After we reached the place we went home on our separate ways.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

The Beginning of the End.

So fast, time flies past as if it was only yesterday. My ITP has two weeks left. Today will be Chin Leong and Meifang's last day. The nice sweet couple from Temasek Polytechnic. I've learn quite a bit from them. I'll definite keep in contact with them. They're nice friends to be with.

We were all taking pictures together. It was lots of fun. I hope I remain contact with them for as much as my rest of my life.

Because I treasure my friends very much.

Anyway, my dear friends out there. Please take care of your health. It seems to me that a lot of people around me are falling sick recently. Some of my colleagues like Michelle, Kernis and Wanzhen fallen sick. My old, found friends like Koh Chee Wee (nicknamed, Cheese) fallen sick. My polytechnic kakis like Charlie Pek Chee Wee also fallen sick. Even my sister's fishes at home also fallen sick.

Take care, my friends. Health is important than work. Your happiness is your family and friends' happiness. Your sufferings are their pain. Take care of yourselves for the ones you love.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Peace at Heart.

Finally, "she" and I finally broke the silence of awkwardness. We were able to talk and laugh like the old times as normal during lunch yesterday. No need for any reconciliation. I was lucky, I didn't lose a good friend.

I didn't have any regrets saying I like "her". If I miss that possible chance of girl I like and I didn't say it, I may regret for the whole of my life. But after saying it out, I felt better. Because I have no more stones of such matters of heart weighing me down too hard. There are still marks where the stones were, but at least I cleared them off.

After all, "she" is the first girl I like that I told "her", I like "her".

Well, since everything's back to normal, I shall concentrate on my work better. The shitty things in the office is, always, the work.

Monday, October 20, 2003

Boredom.

Absolutely boring today. Nobody really talked to me either. As bosses were back last Saturday, all the fun was gone. Moreover, today Moday, there were Monday blues.

I was doing almost absolutely nothing today. Almost the same like last Friday, boring. I did do some quality assurance checks on the half-done I Learn Thai application programme again and hop it doesn't come back as hell again. The rest of the time of the day, I was blasting my brains with music from my personal music library in the office or radio online. But the best music that really get into my head today was Linkin Park's "Faint" and "Somewhere I Belong".

I did attempt to do an Adobe After Effects tutorial from creativecow.net at the last hour in the office. It was on object morphing but I can't seem to get it right. Then, after work while on the train to the west, I was thinking whether I should get the Adobe After Effects Lessons book from my school's library. I called Kent and Jesslyn to see whether its closed but it was close.

After that, I went to see Kent, Jesslyn and others back in school. Because even if I went home, I'll still be watching television programmes or play games or net on my sister's PC. Perhaps I'm not even interested to do all that. I see that as a pretty lonely lifestyle. That's why I'm here in school with Kent, Jesslyn and other people.

Althoug what I'm doing now would be roughly the same thing I do at home. At least I have the accompany of my friends, although only physically they are right beside me.

About "her"... "She" still not talking as usual but that really made me think whether it was the cause of awkwardness of the incident last week... I still need to observe whether "she " and I are as usual. I hope "she" was not affected by the awkwardness. I am trying to see whether "she" avoiding me. It was really hard to guess whether "she" was awkward, too. Perhaps I'm the only one awkward. But I'll see.

There may be a need to have a friendly, direct face-to-face, friendship reconciliation with her to end the awkwardness between me and "her". Talk friendly to her, ask for a friendly hand shake of "We're OK", just like making new friends.

Friday, October 17, 2003

The Last Message.

Yesterday night I sent her this SMS, "As you have reckoned I was attempting to date you just. I admit I am attracted to you. I am not really have a boyfriend or not. Because as far as I know, you did say you had none. Whatever the fact is, I respect the decision you made.To save us all the awkwardness tomorrow, please reply yes, we’re still friends and we’ll be as like before."

"She" replied, "Nite..."

A bit anti-climax but at least she replied. The worst is that she's not replying and that'll be game over.

Guess things will be getting back to normal like we did. We're still friends today and in the future.

I definitely felt better saying out what I really felt. Although I'm still a bit awkward today.

I am getting better. I am now braver to overcome any matters of the heart in the future.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

The Attempt.

I finally did something today. Just after work, when Sidik and I left the office first. And after Sidik alighted at his MRT station. I suddenly attempt to ask "her" out to go somewhere.

At first, I sent "her" a SMS stating that, "Hey, are you going anywhere after work?"

"She" didn't reply.

After that I made first two calls to directly ask "her" out, but the line didn't get through. Then, the third time the line got through.


I think this was roughly what we spoken on the conversation:

"She":

Hello?

Eiizumi:

Hello, "Her Name" ah. Where are you... Er... er... Are you still at work? Are you going home later?

"She":

Ya. I'm going home...

Eiizumi:

I want to ask you whether you want to go out with me...

"She":

... I'll be meeting my boyfriend later...

Eiizumi:

Oh... Ok... Nevermind then. Bye. [Hung the phone]


After the conversation, I sent a SMS to Chee Wee and told him the conversation, the situation and what I was going to do. I said maybe I wouldn't give up so soon. I would tell her I like her some time later and see how the results then. Maybe I wasn't calm then. Chee Wee replied, advising me not to do that and advised "she" and I should remain as friends and care for her as friends. I think I'll take his advice. I don't want to make the relationship with her more awkward if I say I like "her". After all, I did say this, "I want to become good friend with "her" before anything else good or bad happens." We'll be friends.

Here's some more factors 've considered. Firstly, if I didn't remember wrongly, "she" did say didn't have a boyfriend (but "she" said that was two months ago). Secondly, if I didn't remember wrongly, "she" said "she" didn't want a relationship now. "She" want to enjoy freedom and be a bachelorette for now. If the two factors are true, I can only say I respect "her" decision to want enjoy freedom and be a bachelorette for now. If "she" really have a boyfriend now, I give "her" my best wishes. Anyway, that boyfriend is pretty good, if he really did change "her" stand of being single and free to that of being together with him.

I guess we will have to remain as friends. Although at first I did feel a bit lost and a bit sad after the conversion call twith "her". But I'll have to face the situation. For now, I have to think properly and re-organise my feelings, emotions and thoughts. Because I still have to face "her" for about three weeks of ITP left.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

A Personal Guessing Game.

Today I'm tired. Physically, emotionally and mentally. I'm not sure whether its my personal guessing game. Whether "she" likes me or not or will "she" give me a chance. This tiring guessing game of mine, perhaps one-sided. I can't do anything but guess and guess and guess. Maybe because Aquarians are too imaginative. Maybe I'm thinking it too simple, too complex.

Maybe it is really time to give "her" hints.

But I'm scared.

Not scared of the resulting truth. I'm wimped out because of other related people to "she" and I finding out. I don't know why I am scared of it.

During the morning, I wasn't in my normal workstation which was near the behind of the office with most people are, including "her". I was at the central area of the office, because Wong came back from Kuala Lumpur since Sunday and was using my workstation. Then, "she" went out of the office to the lift lobby. I waved and knock on the office door to capture her attention. I signalled to asked "her" whether she going down for morning tea. "She" signalled back a "no" with a expression-less face. I faked a laugh with a "he he" while Nur looked at me knowing the whole situation, smiling.

I'm beginning to suspect Nur was suspecting something. I don't know... I really don't know...

Just now off-work time. "She" still had work on hand needed to be completed by tomorrow afternoon. Sidik, with "her" and I went down to the mama shop we called for tea and some pratas. "She" didn't ate anything or drink anything. "She" said "she" was tried and had no appetite because "she" was thinking and hesitating whether "she" should chiong the night to complete "her" work. "She" said there was no one to accompany her and work over-time would be very boring. I did wanted to say I'll accompany with "her".

But I just couldn't say it out just because Sidik was there.

It was a very regretful decision... Although there was a pretty good or bad reason that Sidik was there...

I didn't talked much during the evening tea just now. The topics I talked about never went far.

There was a moment of about two seconds we looked at each other in the eyes. I know I felt something. I don't know about "her". I'm trying hard not to guess or let my imaginations go wild. I'm tired.

I know I have to do something.

I just hope God or someone help me and give me an answer, give me hint...

Well, maybe some of you people think things are simply easy to solve. But remember. A doctor can offer good medical advice and cure the others. But a doctor could not cure himself.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

A Weekend of Thoughts and Emotions.

Friday. After the 4pm mark on the clock. I became slightly sad, slightly moodless and not getting on with things. Perhaps affected by "her" emotions expressed on her face.

Maybe perhaps its the cause that after about three or four weeks of so-called failed attempts of trying to meet friends for dinner or go night clubbing in the city. They, the friends I'm trying to gather to meet in the city, said they preferred the west area. But really, I'm sick of Jurong Point, West Mall and other shopping malls in the west area that I'm so familiar with.

I can't really blame them. I've always put myself in other people's shoes. So much so that I've become very neutral in decisions if anyone realised. The decisions could be right or wrong. Though I wanted my way as any individual wanted themselves, I just let it be.

Anyway, at around 5pm on Friday, we went down for afternoon or should I say evening tea at the Muslim coffeeshop my Digi Kakis (My attachment company is named Digimagic Communications) are so familiar with. "She" went along too. Perhaps I went too deep into the moodless state, "she" did attempt to cheer me a little by talking to me. Normally "she" kept quiet during tea-times. We talked. "She" did made me smile a little.

So I waved good bye to "her" and other staff. I was going to meet Chee Wee. And yes, again, we failed to gather the people out for a nice Friday evening event. We ate our dinner at Suntec City and headed for the Esplanades Theatres for some outdoor music. Nice environment. We enjoyed the band music, the night sky and the sky line. After that we simply went home.

Saturday. Was suppose to go for swimming in the morning but the heavens cried for no good reason which pretty upset and worsen my mood that I'm already in. I postponed off the swimming outing with my dear friend Daniel Chua till today, but same weather happened, even worse. No sun for the whole day.

During the afternoon, I went lunch with my best pal, Elvin. We're best buddies since secondary school days. After lunch we went to SP campus' Haemotology and Medical Clinical laboratory for Elvin to draw blood samples for his FYP study. I had had my first blood sample taken about a month plus ago. This time was another after I've taken some supplement pills of folic acid taken for a full month. But this blood sample was taken about two weeks late.

After all the blood sample test, Elvin and I went to Ginza Plaza for some LAN gaming. Although I'm quite sick of LAN gaiming as it waste money, a lot. I had to give my best pal some face as he wanted to play. As my best pal gets nauseous with action games like Counterstrike. We started off we a one-on-one Age of Empires II. I lost the game because I've chosen a race with no advance technologies. But after the startegy games, I went on another one-on-one game with Elvin on Medal of Honour: Allied Assault. This time I trashed him. But it was fun. We kept killing each other lamely with grenades.

The night. I went on karaoking with Chee Wee and his friends. We did have some fun. It was my first time opening up my voice to anybody on karaoke singing since I was five years old. But my voice wasn't the voice of a young boy any more. I couldn't split female and male voices like I could during my childhood years.

Friday, October 10, 2003

What Am I Doing?!

This happens on this week's Wednesday. I was preparing to leave the office with Sidik. But "she" was doing her work. I offered my help to finish part of it. But "she" asked us to go home first. Then, I thought there's no Macintosh machine for me to work on as to help her anyway. So I left. But after I left. I realised something, Diana's not here that very day, I could use Diana's Macintosh machine to help "her"!

I did happily talked with Sidik on the way home till Sidik reached his station and left. After he left, I started regretting not to be stubborn and stay on and help "her". Near Clementi MRT station, I started to SMS "her". I messaged "her" my regrets of not helping as she helped me on the day before to do something. She replied, "It's ok...". That made me felt better.

What am I doing.. What am I thinking... I don't know. Maybe I am getting eccentrical.

Just today, I lunched early at around 12pm with Sidik, Nur, Shahid and David because Sidik, Nur and Shahid needed to go mosque for theirs prayers. "She" didn't came with us. "She" was meeting a friend for lunch.

During the lunch with the fours guys as we were chatting. Nur suddenly looked at me and asked, "So Jeff. You got anybody in mind? Anybody you are attracted to? Any girlfriend yet?"

Of course, I replied, "No."

I know my answer is a yes. And I know they'll ask who's the girl once I replied that. And I know the consequences of events that'll will come if they found out who's the girl I am attracted to. It may be a great comotion in the office if that happens.

I haven't decide whether I should express my feelings. I have my concerns. Not really about "she" rejecting me. I fear I could lose a good female friend like her. I want to become good friend with her before anything else good or bad happens. That's the foundation I want first. But time is against me. My ITP is left with about three weeks. I also fear that my friendship with "her" would drop to that of mere aquaintances once the ITP is over...

Monday, October 06, 2003

Quite a Stale Sunday.

Haiz... Woke up late for Sunday's soccer meet. But I wasn't the latest. My original soccer gang, consisted of Kent, Matthew, Joseph, Andhika, Caizhi, Gangxin and I. Even Chee Wee the indoor dude was with us. We only started when everyone's up at the NUS campus' Eusoff Hall's soccer, or should I say basketball court. We started at 12pm but only played for 30 minutes before we were chased out for trepassing. We all decided to makan at a coffee shop near Matthew's house.

After that, Chee Wee, Andhika, Joseph and I went for pool session. We played about an hour or two. Then it was Chee Wee, Joseph and I going West Mall at Bukit Batok for me to get my new Nokia handphone, Nokia 6610. Got it for $398 with two years extended contract. Still quite expensive. I couldn't trade-in the old Nokia 3310 because my family and I may need it when our current handphones die out or something. Initially I even considered Nokia 7250i, but the price was big. It was $500++ to $700++. I decided to stick to Nokia 6610 due Saturday's swimming with Daniel Chua. He don't remember whether he put his Nokia 7250i, so he kept worrying about it throughout the swim. So much worries for an expensive handphone. I've decided the handphone could be a psychological burden to me.

Saturday, October 04, 2003

Freedom Friday.

After the over-time work till 12am plus, yesterday, which was Friday was much at ease...

All I did yesterday was screen capture some pictures of the DUMEX products in diffrent countries. You may ask me why they didn't have the images stored? I really don't know, but the DUMEX package is very huge, its been done for about one year now and it is still not yet completed. Who would store those stupid products anyway? You get sick of it. Anyway, I screen capture those pictures using when its on the QuickTime VR (Virtual Reality) object movies. And simply the pictures were inserted into PowerPoint slides.

As I was really quite free in the morning, I've decided to help Wanzhen some of her work, but she wanted to do them by herself and refused my help. The only problem she had was recreate some text in Macromedia Freehand 10 (which she doesn't really know) to follow path so that the text will not be straight but like a wave. I tried to help by experimenting it. But in the end, she got herself into some online tutorials and manage to get the way to do it and she even teach me how to do it.

Anyway, the whole day was pretty relaxed and fun. Shahid requested to dance some moves on the Elvis Presley's music after my last week sudden craze. But "Fish" (my Small Boss, Jeffrey) was back in the office.

After work, I was suppose to chiong for club but in the end it was Chee Wee and I again... But still we went to Zouk. But at there we didn't dance, we didn't drink because there was an event for a contest there at the Zouk dance floor for Linkin Park's tickets on the concert in Kuala Lumpur's Merdeka Stadium. The contest was wild. Contestants had to suck their toes, strip their clothes and others. I guess Chee Wee's Blog had a more detailed report on the event.

After for about three hours at Zouk without any dance or drinks, we decided to leave as Kent suggested we club tonight.

But as you can see, I'm typing my Blog now. The plan to club tonight was screwed once again because insufficient attendance of friends to club.

The Return of the Bitching Client.

Wah lau... My week was almost screwed by the stupid client known as Hussein, as I mentioned in my last Blog.

This joker Hussein came for three days to whine and complain about inconsistencies of font size, colour and others. Like I said in my last Blog, Hussein came on Monday for the first time to machine-gun Peipei, my colleague who gave me most of my work. Though on Monday he said he would come at the next day, he only returned on Wednesday. That was lucky for me. It meant I had two days finish it. Wednesday he came pretty fine, he didn't scrutinised our work so much. We managed to do what he asked for.

The next day on Thursday, Hussein came again. This time, he's nuts! He's not being understanding at all. The moment he saw some untranslated content, which was in English, he erupt all out with his nonsense on Peipei. On the day before, Peipei told him there was untranslated content but all outstanding untranslated content has already been sent out on Tuesday via attachment on the e-mail but the dude in Thailand haven't reply with the translated Thai content yet. He didn't hear it in. Then he questioned why he wasn't carbon copied that e-mail. As if he would help with the thing. He continued to machine-gun Peipei. I stood in between them while the one-sided firing tracers flew by in front of me as I looked. Peipei suffered heavy injuries, all her blood smeared on the floor and some of the blood smeared on me too.

Then I was to entertain Hussein to check with the incorrect or inconsistencies that was in the application. He didn't really do anything to me me. He wasn't putting his anger on me at all. I think the attitude was different because he was impress with my work done with quality and commended it was better than Peipei. But I don't think that's a preety fair judgement as I'm concentrating on one project at a time. Maybe he was more kind because I'm an intern. But I hope he's not gay or something. He's a bit sissy at times and very childish sometimes when he goes irritate Jacqueline when she's working. But Peipei has really a lot of projects to handle, that's why she's always giving me work, non-stop.

Pitying Peipei and also the I-Learn Thai application must be delivered to Thailand for review the next day, I worked overtime till 12am plus. Unbelievable , I thought I wouldn't made that far before. Maybe because "she" was also working for Peipei on another project till about 10pm and also I got myself the headphones and drown myself with music. "She" was more seasoned over-time worker than I am. That's pretty sad, SP didn't trained us well for extreme over-time, because all computer labs closes at 8pm. That's why SP sucks!

But luckily, the next day (yesterday), Friday was a more relaxing day to work. I continue this story on my next Blog. I going to swimming with Daniel Chua, my old secondary school friend now... He wants to tan himself.